S5E14 - The Variable

While May 10th marks Mother’s Day this year, this episode begs to celebrate it a touch early. That, plus our second child is due the day after Mother’s Day with the finale coming two days after that and quite frankly, I’m thinking number two will be making its appearance before this season is over and I can’t have such a good theme go to waste…

FINALLY! Someone on this show with mommy issues instead of daddy issues. And boy howdy does he have a bad case.

Exhibit A:
ELOISE: “Hi Danny, it looks like you’re really enjoying the piano.”
DANIEL: “Oh yes, Mother, it’s ever so fun.”
ELOISE: “Well STOP IT!”
DANIEL: “But Mother…”
ELOISE: “No! Go do some math problems.”

Doesn’t Eloise know that math and music are closely related? Geez, give the kid a break. To her “credit” you can see the pain in her eyes. Who knows, he could have been a world renowned concert pianist or at the very least a popular wedding singer on the weekends. Alas, we’ll never know.

Meanwhile on the island, crazy Faraday tries to warn Chang that they’re all gonna blow sky-high in 6 hours. Oh, and admits he’s from the future and introduces him to his son. Smooth move, dimwit.

Exhibit B:
ELOISE: “About time you graduated.”
DANIEL: “Mom, this is Theresa.”
ELOISE: “Yeah yeah… let’s eat lunch.”
DANIEL: “Table for three?”
ELOISE: “Fat chance. The hussy stays behind.”

So, we see Daniel’s assistant, Theresa, in a non-coma state. Since Eloise has been known to time travel herself (as evidenced from her warning to Desmond back in season 3) perhaps she knew of Theresa’s fate so was trying to do Daniel a favor to spare him the pain of the accident that would put her in a vegetative state and make him an official denizen of Crazytown. Either that, or she was just being a B!TCH.

Exhibit C:
ELOISE: “No matter what, remember I will always love you.”

The inscription she wrote in his journal was poignant considering she knew she was/would be responsible for his death. She must have run out of ink before she could add: “P.S. For instance, like if I shoot you or something.”

Meanwhile, Sawyer introduces Jack to the bound and gagged Phil, “Jack, Phil. Phil, Jack” then has a group meeting with the other LOSTies to decide what to do next. A) Leave on the sub? B) Start over at the beach? Faraday comes in and offers a third option. C) Help me find my mommy?

Exhibit D:
ELOISE: “Hey, I know I’ve pushed and pushed you for years into this career path that is ultimately responsible for making you crazy, and I’ve been thinking recently, why stop there?”
DANIEL: “What? Huh? I’m crazy.”
ELOISE: “Yes, Dear, we’ve covered that. Completely my fault. So, you should take your dad—uh—Mr. Widmore up on his offer.”
DANIEL: “Will it make you proud?”
ELOISE: “Sure. Why not?”

You could almost believe she wanted him to go to the island so that he would be healed. Alas… not so much.

Meanwhile Jack and Kate manage to survive a gunfight and smuggle Faraday out to the others only to discover his plan is to blow up the Swan station with the H-Bomb he asked them to bury. So, what? Faraday is off his Whatever Happened Happened kick? There would be some serious Back-To-The-Future-Disappearing-Marty-McFly action going on if he, or anyone for that matter, were to prevent the hatch from being built. If the “energy” is eliminated, then there is no button to push, then Oceanic 316 lands safely in Los Angeles, then none of them would ever be on the island, meaning they wouldn’t be there “now”. I like my TV and all, but I have no problems throwing a brick at it if they cause a paradox. Oh geez, what if that’s what “the incident” is that messes up the island baby-wise?

Exhibit E:
ELOISE: “What up, Charles?”
CHARLES: “Nothin’. Just chillin’ like a villain. Checkin’ on my son-in-law.”
ELOISE: “He’s fine. Can’t say the same for your biological son, though.”
CHARLES: “Yeah, bummer about that.”
ELOISE: “I know. They grow up so fast.”
CHARLES: “Don’t they?”
ELOISE: “Then they travel back in time.”
CHARLES: “Yeah.”
ELOISE: “Then you shoot them.”
CHARLES: “Kids, right? God love ‘em.”

Okay, so maybe MAYBE Eloise was a little more conflicted about sending Daniel back than that. But still… SHE SENT HIM BACK! Knowing what she knows it begs the question... did him being killed serve some higher purpose or did she just believe “it was his destiny”? At the very least, Daniel deserves a refund on all the Mother’s Day Hallmark cards he wasted on that woman. And of course there is the big reveal that Widmore is Daniel’s father (called it!). Of course we still don’t know who Penny’s mother is, but I’m assuming not Eloise since Ben accused Charles of having a child with an off-islander a few episodes ago. Who knows when anything happened, though, with the gaps in flashbacks. I’m sure the holes will be filled soon enough.

All and all an okay episode. Sad that Daniel is no longer with us, though.

DANIEL FARADAY
R.I.P.
Born 1978
Died 1977
“Time Travel Sucks”

S5E13 - Some Like It Hoth

Well, tax season has come and gone (unless you're filing for an extension and seriously... who does that?) So, let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief as we wait for our check or auto-deposit to roll in (or shed a collective tear if you owe). This is the first year my wife and I have EVER owed and frankly, I don't want to talk about it.

What I do want to talk about is LOST. And a tax theme seems as good as any...

W-2
Talk about someone avoiding the IRS. I wonder exactly what Miles would enter as his occupation and primary form of income: "Spiritual Communication Liaison." The work seems to be sporadic, but pays well.

In the opening we see Miles' mother and it is confirmed that "Mr. Chang" is not in the picture. Ahhh... sweet sweet workahol. I wonder if that's why Mrs. Chang ultimately decided to move away, Pierre Chang (aka Marvin Candle) was too dedicated to his work and not his family. Or was it something more sinister? Either way, I thought it was funny how Hurley mentioned the whole Marvin Candle thing (what Chang calls himself in the Dharma orientation videos). I wonder if that will ever be explained or if it's just some silly mini-mystery we'll never know. I say as long as Hurley is the one poking fun at it, I could care less.

1099-MISC
He'll have to claim Widmore's offer of $1.6 million under miscellaneous income. And what a fat paycheck it is. Definitely enough to make him rethink "tracking down a serial killer" after Naomi explained why Widmore wants him. He and Hurley had such great lines in this episode. One of my favorites being early on when Miles tries to explain to Radzinsky why he's there rather than LaFleur. "Uh, I'm in the circle of trust." Not to mention Hurley trying to convince Miles and Chang to get together for beers.

If Miles and Hurley have a LOST spinoff, I'd watch it. I imagine it as a kind of "Lavern And Shirley" meets "The Odd Couple" meets "The Ghost Whisperer" (I'm talking TV goldmine here, people).

1099-G
You have to claim unemployment compensation on your 1099-G and Kate and Sawyer may well be on their way to just that. They've dug themselves into quite a hole, Sawyer especially after knocking out short security dude. What I also liked about that whole sideplot was Jack smoothing things over with Roger, giving Sawyer the heads up, and leaving it at that. Man, you can really tell he's loving not being "the leader" anymore. Just kind of coasting. Like he made it to the island and now he's in vacation mode. It won't be long until we see him lounging in the quad on a hammock sporting a pair of shades and a sunscreened nose. Heck, maybe he'll even rally together a game of volleyball, Dharma vs Hostiles, across the sonic fence.

1099-DIV
Ah, dividend income. Of course no one is playing the stock market in this episode, though Hurley is certainly hoping to cash in on his knowledge of the future in a pretty hilarious way. A revamped version of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. In yet more hilarious Hurley/Miles banter, Hurley reveals that he talks to dead people too, but when Miles says, "It doesn't work that way," Hurley says, "You're just jealous that my super power is better than yours." Good stuff.

1099-S
Though nobody sold their home in this episode, they were certainly building one, though they likely did not expect it to be used as a permanent residence. That's right, the hatch. With time travel, the possibilities of changing your future are limitless. In this episode alone, Miles could have offed himself as a baby at any point, though of course according to Daniel, that's impossible. I like how Hurley encourages Miles, "Don't you want to hold the mini-you or change your own diaper?" Ha!

Anyway, what Hurley said about the hatch strikes another chord. It's what caused the original Oceanic flight to crash. He could prevent himself from ever coming to the island to begin with by sabotaging construction of the hatch. Of course, once again, Whatever Happened Happened so we know he "can't" do that, but still the temptation must be pretty strong. Sidebar, I'm still looking forward to a Hurley episode and his reasons for returning.

1099-INT
Income from interest. I've got your interest right here. Interest in what Faraday has been up to for the past three years. Even though my initial thought that he defected to the others looks to be incorrect based on him popping out of the sub at the end in full Dharma drag, I'm guessing we'll get to see the details in the next episode!

My other big interest is the folks that grabbed Miles after he accepted Widmore's offer. They asked if he wanted to know "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Can't help but see the big tie in to what Ilana said in the last episode. Sumpin's goin' on to say da least. At first, I thought maybe Widmore had somehow smuggled Ilana on board Ajira and that's how she knew about the weapons trunk and was so organized or whatever, but these people were clearly not with Widmore and once again mentioned "the war" that's coming. I got a total creepy cult vibe from the dialogue in that scene, too. Anyway, interesting development there.

CHARITABLE DEDUCTIONS
One donation Miles made was towards the end when he gave that random dad his money back. So Miles has a soft spot after all. Well, soft but with an edge. "If you wanted your son to know you loved him, you should have told him while he was alive." Ouch. Daddy issues, anyone? Actually, can you think of ANY character in this show that doesn't have issues with their father?

Jack's Dad? Alcoholic/Adulterer/Dead-ish.
Claire's Dad? (see above).
Jin's Dad? A common fisherman who he has disowned out of shame.
Sun's Dad? A mobster for all intents and purposes.
Kate's Dad? Abuser/Potential molester/Killed by Kate, herself.
Sawyer's Dad? Killed Sawyer's mom when he discovered she'd been seduced and swindled by another man/Killed himself.
Locke's Dad? Con artist/Attempted to kill Locke/Killed by Sawyer thanks to manipulation from Locke, himself.
Ben's Dad? Drunk/Abusive/Gassed to death by Ben, himself.
Sayid's Dad? Forced his kids to kill chickens, which actually constitutes the most functional father-child relationship I can think of, though Sayid wound up torturing people for a living so you gotta wonder...

YOUR FEDERAL RETURN
(-$1,491)

ABILITY TO TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE
($1,000 – $1,600,000) a pop

TIME BONDING WITH YOUR DEAD FATHER IN THE PAST
(Priceless)

After all of this I'm left with one question... what would Miles and Hurley's spinoff be called?

S5E12 - Dead Is Dead

Easter is this weekend and goes right along with this episode seeing as there's enough talk of resurrection to fill an entire Sunday sermon. However, I touched on that for my Lent-themed recap so I'm going a different direction for this one...

Easter Eggs! Step aside, Jesus, here comes commercialism!

So, what did the main characters in this episode get in their Easter baskets this year?

Little Ben
*New lease on life*
From: Richard
He gets a brief how-do-you-do from leader Widmore after he wakes up. Not much in way of a welcoming committee considering Widmore would have let him die, but he seems to have changed his mind when Richard reminds him of what Jacob/the Island wants.

Medium Ben
*Brand new baby*
From: Danielle
Interesting twist on how Alex was taken. Turns out he was sent to kill Danielle instead. And he had sympathy for her! Definitely a new, moral, side of Ben we've never seen. I also found it interesting that he warned her to run away from the whispers. Again, he knows a lot about what's happening on the island, but we don't get to see. Let us in, Ben. Let us in. By the way, they did a pretty good job of making him look younger, don’t you think? You'd almost think his voice was cracking. Oh, and was that Ethan with him? Interesting considering Ben's involvement with the others was kind of an accident to begin with.

Big Ben
*Small shotgun*
From: Caesar
Whoa, didn't see that coming. And here I was thinking Caesar was going to be a new, albeit minor, character. Not so much.

*Special hug*
From: Alex
Well, the monster didn't kill him, but it did deliver an ominous message in the end as Alex. "I know you're planning on killing Locke (again). And if you do, I will hunt you down and destroy you." Alrighty... clear enough. On top of that, she demands that he swears allegiance to Locke. Shazam!

Locke
*New pair of balls*
From: The Island
Not to be crude, but I think we can all agree that Locke spent a lot of Season One being a badass and Season Two through Four whining about answers and following Ben like a lost puppy. Have you ever seen the movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"? Me either... but I imagine if Stella was a white man in her late 50s on a crazy island, the movie would go a little something like last night's episode.

Sun
*Hope*
From: Christian
Though unfortunately, said "hope" is packaged in the form of a dead man. I wonder what she and Frank initially thought when Christian told them to sit tight and wait for John? Apparently they didn't have too much of a problem with it seeing as they were settling in for the long haul. One unspoken awkward moment for me was when John said to her how him being alive again was strange for him too, then added, "But don't worry, because I assure you I'm the same man you've always known." I'm sure she was thinking, "That's actually the part that worries me."

*A little truth*
From: Ben
The one true thing I think Ben said in the entire episode was in his brief conversation with Sun. "I've seen the island do a lot of miraculous things, but nothing like this. The fact that John Locke is alive and walking around scares the living hell out of me."

Frank
*A statue*
From: Ilana
So he can find out what exactly lies in its shadow. SERIOUSLY. What the hell was that about? He leaves for one day, maybe two, and suddenly the Ajira survivors are organized, armed, have secret pass phrases, are going places, and taking hostages...? What?

Widmore
*A one way ticket off the Island*
From: Ben
A lot of subtle reveals in their conversation. Once again, there is mention of "breaking the rules." One of which is frequently leaving the island, and another is having a child with an off-islander. To the first I will say this. We know from either Season 3 or 4 that Ben was going off the island quite regularly judging from his secret stash of fake passports and foreign currency. If that's a no-no, then Ben supposedly broke that rule plenty of times once he was in charge. Second, the fact that Charles had a child with someone other than an other seems to blow my theory that he shacked up with Ellie. I wonder if the same thing happened to her. She got knocked up by some off-islander and had Daniel, only to be banished, herself.

The more we learn of the others, the more they just seem like a kooky cult. They have say in who you can and can't be involved with (last night with Widmore), they collect dead bodies (Amy's first husband), they hang out in a super secret temple (with some other super secret temple buried beneath it), they participate in public trials and brand people (remember what they did to Juliet?), they answer to a chosen leader (who answers to Richard (who answers to Jacob (who answers to the Island))). Shall I go on?

Kooky.

Anyway, good episode. Looks like we might get an unexpected Miles episode next? That could be interesting.

S5E11 - Whatever Happened Happened

It’s a very special April Fools Day episode of LOST.

Young Ben is dead! Behold, the paradox is upon us!
APRIL FOOLS!
Ben isn’t dead. He can’t be. We know this. Though he isn’t exactly doing cartwheels either.

The confusion and potential pitfalls of time travel couldn’t have been better exemplified in the conversation between Miles and Hurley. I actually get everything that Miles was saying, as headachey as it all is. This is Ben’s past so he CAN’T die because we know he’s alive as an adult, but everyone else is experiencing it as their present so they can kick the bucket, no problem. The one thing Hurley did address that is a problem though, why doesn’t adult Ben remember meeting these people? Though kind of hokey, Richard actually hints at a potential explanation. More on that later.

Sawyer asked Kate to pull his finger before jumping out of the helicopter.
APRIL FOOLS!
He asked her to check up on his daughter Clementine once she was rescued. Yeah, we kind of all knew that, right?

No offense if you or someone you love is named Clementine, but geez… why would a parent do that to their child? The thing they left out, which I thought was a pretty significant realization, was Kate’s reaction once she found out that she had known Cassidy briefly before coming to the island. No big deal, but you’d think she’d at least be like, “Wow, small world” or something. Anyway, Cassidy smells her lie about being Aaron’s mom a mile away. I guess one develops a refined BS detector after shacking up with a con only to become one yourself.

All is well in Dharmaville and no one suspects any treason.
APRIL FOOLS!
There’s plenty of suspicion to go around, starting with all the new people.

Horace immediately jumps on the idea that busting out Sayid was an inside job. This is only supported by the open jail cell and “janitor keys” left behind. Sawyer immediately tells Miles to round up Jack, Kate, and Hurley to keep on eye on them.

Juliet is here to save the day!
APRIL FOOLS!
There’s a big difference between delivering a baby and suturing a bullet wound.

Juliet tells Sawyer she can’t fix it, only a real surgeon can. If only we knew one…

Jack is a lowly janitor.
APRIL FOOLS!
He’s a spinal surgeon.

We all know this, but no one else does. Talk about blowing your cover. There’s another good reason to not volunteer to save wee-Ben. Anyway, Jack is very on board with the whatever happened happened idea so believes Ben won’t/can’t die or just doesn’t care. That’s cold Jack. Cold. Kate decides she can’t just sit by and do nothing so volunteers to donate her blood.

SIDEBAR: I’ve tried to donate blood twice and nearly passed out twice. I have no problem with needles, but what I do have is veins the size of Texas and the ability to bleed out at twice the rate of a normal human being. A bit of a shock to the body to say the least.

The blood donation worked. Ben is stabilized. He grows up to be a very well-adjusted adult and everyone lives happily ever after.
APRIL FOOLS!
Only the others can save him. BUT AT WHAT PRICE?

Kate suggests that the others may be able to help. Juliet offers to come, but Kate says no, she’s got her life with Sawyer, blah, blah, blah. Actually, I thought this was very grown-up of her and I’m glad that they’re making her into something other than “the other woman.” She genuinely seems to wish them well and just wants to do what’s right.

Aaron was kidnapped in the grocery store.
APRIL FOOLS!
Kate’s just an inattentive mom.

Knock on wood. Don’t want to jinx myself, there. I can totally see my daughter haulin’ off in public one day and I have to make the walk of shame to the front after they announce the “lost child” over the intercom. Whatever happened to those elastic toddler leashes? They never really caught on, did they? That and Bird Flu. No one talks about that anymore either, but I’m sure it’s still around.

Sawyer rushed to help Kate because he’s still in love with her.
APRIL FOOLS!
He did it for Juliet.

Again, I’m happy to see the clean break with the Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliet love rectangle. Sawyer says he’s done a lot of growing up in the last three years and it shows. I really hope they keep him paired up with Juliet. They seem good together, though I’d still like to see how their initial three more weeks turned into three years.

“What’s up, Claire’s mom? Meet my son, Aaron.”
APRIL FOOLS!
“He’s your grandson.”

So we finally find out Kate’s real motivation for going back to the island and I must say, I’m impressed. Though I assumed it was because someone took Aaron and threatened horrible things unless she went back, it turns out to be a much more mature and altruistic reason. She has finally come to realize some of her motivation for claiming Aaron as her own was selfish and now she is determined to go back and find out what happened to Claire, his real mother. If I’m not careful, I might actually start to like Kate this season.

Richard agrees to heal Ben, free of charge.
APRIL FOOLS!
It will cost him HIS INNOCENCE. Mwa-hah-haaaah…

So, not only will he lose his innocence (which would certainly explain a lot of his actions as an adult), but Richard also mentioned he would lose all memory of this happening. I wonder if this is the reason why he doesn’t seem to remember the LOSTies as an adult. The temple’s “healing process” works some major voodoo on you, not only in a brainwashing sense, but also in the amnesia department. Like I said, a little hokey, but at least it may explain his lack of recollection.

The one other interesting thing that Richard said was in his interaction with one of the others who asked if he should consult with Ellie or Charles, to which he replied, “I don’t answer to either of them.” Apparently Charles is now leader of the others in 1977. It’s been about 20ish years since we saw him as a sixteen year old in the 1950s so that’s feasible. Also, if you remember, Ellie was the girl that took Faraday to defuse the bomb. So maybe Charles and Ellie are co-captains of the others crew. Perhaps more than just partners? What do we know of Penny’s mom? Nothing that I can recall. My prediction is that Ellie is Penny’s mom and something tragic happens to her later. Anyway, Richard’s comment that he doesn’t answer to them reinforces the weird hierarchy that we’ve known of all along. There are “the others”, but then there is Richard who seems to be among them, but not of them. Again, I’m sure the whole Jacob/Christian/Richard/(Charles/Ben/Locke) leadership hierarchy will be fleshed out at some point. For now, we’ll chalk that up on the to-be-answered side.

Adult Ben killed Locke.
APRIL FOOLS!
Locke is alive and well. Look out, Ben.

I liked the end. Definitely sets up a potential Ben-centric episode next. And if his expression was any indication, he did NOT expect Locke to be magically healed by the island. That and he probably crapped himself.