S5E13 - Some Like It Hoth

Well, tax season has come and gone (unless you're filing for an extension and seriously... who does that?) So, let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief as we wait for our check or auto-deposit to roll in (or shed a collective tear if you owe). This is the first year my wife and I have EVER owed and frankly, I don't want to talk about it.

What I do want to talk about is LOST. And a tax theme seems as good as any...

W-2
Talk about someone avoiding the IRS. I wonder exactly what Miles would enter as his occupation and primary form of income: "Spiritual Communication Liaison." The work seems to be sporadic, but pays well.

In the opening we see Miles' mother and it is confirmed that "Mr. Chang" is not in the picture. Ahhh... sweet sweet workahol. I wonder if that's why Mrs. Chang ultimately decided to move away, Pierre Chang (aka Marvin Candle) was too dedicated to his work and not his family. Or was it something more sinister? Either way, I thought it was funny how Hurley mentioned the whole Marvin Candle thing (what Chang calls himself in the Dharma orientation videos). I wonder if that will ever be explained or if it's just some silly mini-mystery we'll never know. I say as long as Hurley is the one poking fun at it, I could care less.

1099-MISC
He'll have to claim Widmore's offer of $1.6 million under miscellaneous income. And what a fat paycheck it is. Definitely enough to make him rethink "tracking down a serial killer" after Naomi explained why Widmore wants him. He and Hurley had such great lines in this episode. One of my favorites being early on when Miles tries to explain to Radzinsky why he's there rather than LaFleur. "Uh, I'm in the circle of trust." Not to mention Hurley trying to convince Miles and Chang to get together for beers.

If Miles and Hurley have a LOST spinoff, I'd watch it. I imagine it as a kind of "Lavern And Shirley" meets "The Odd Couple" meets "The Ghost Whisperer" (I'm talking TV goldmine here, people).

1099-G
You have to claim unemployment compensation on your 1099-G and Kate and Sawyer may well be on their way to just that. They've dug themselves into quite a hole, Sawyer especially after knocking out short security dude. What I also liked about that whole sideplot was Jack smoothing things over with Roger, giving Sawyer the heads up, and leaving it at that. Man, you can really tell he's loving not being "the leader" anymore. Just kind of coasting. Like he made it to the island and now he's in vacation mode. It won't be long until we see him lounging in the quad on a hammock sporting a pair of shades and a sunscreened nose. Heck, maybe he'll even rally together a game of volleyball, Dharma vs Hostiles, across the sonic fence.

1099-DIV
Ah, dividend income. Of course no one is playing the stock market in this episode, though Hurley is certainly hoping to cash in on his knowledge of the future in a pretty hilarious way. A revamped version of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. In yet more hilarious Hurley/Miles banter, Hurley reveals that he talks to dead people too, but when Miles says, "It doesn't work that way," Hurley says, "You're just jealous that my super power is better than yours." Good stuff.

1099-S
Though nobody sold their home in this episode, they were certainly building one, though they likely did not expect it to be used as a permanent residence. That's right, the hatch. With time travel, the possibilities of changing your future are limitless. In this episode alone, Miles could have offed himself as a baby at any point, though of course according to Daniel, that's impossible. I like how Hurley encourages Miles, "Don't you want to hold the mini-you or change your own diaper?" Ha!

Anyway, what Hurley said about the hatch strikes another chord. It's what caused the original Oceanic flight to crash. He could prevent himself from ever coming to the island to begin with by sabotaging construction of the hatch. Of course, once again, Whatever Happened Happened so we know he "can't" do that, but still the temptation must be pretty strong. Sidebar, I'm still looking forward to a Hurley episode and his reasons for returning.

1099-INT
Income from interest. I've got your interest right here. Interest in what Faraday has been up to for the past three years. Even though my initial thought that he defected to the others looks to be incorrect based on him popping out of the sub at the end in full Dharma drag, I'm guessing we'll get to see the details in the next episode!

My other big interest is the folks that grabbed Miles after he accepted Widmore's offer. They asked if he wanted to know "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Can't help but see the big tie in to what Ilana said in the last episode. Sumpin's goin' on to say da least. At first, I thought maybe Widmore had somehow smuggled Ilana on board Ajira and that's how she knew about the weapons trunk and was so organized or whatever, but these people were clearly not with Widmore and once again mentioned "the war" that's coming. I got a total creepy cult vibe from the dialogue in that scene, too. Anyway, interesting development there.

CHARITABLE DEDUCTIONS
One donation Miles made was towards the end when he gave that random dad his money back. So Miles has a soft spot after all. Well, soft but with an edge. "If you wanted your son to know you loved him, you should have told him while he was alive." Ouch. Daddy issues, anyone? Actually, can you think of ANY character in this show that doesn't have issues with their father?

Jack's Dad? Alcoholic/Adulterer/Dead-ish.
Claire's Dad? (see above).
Jin's Dad? A common fisherman who he has disowned out of shame.
Sun's Dad? A mobster for all intents and purposes.
Kate's Dad? Abuser/Potential molester/Killed by Kate, herself.
Sawyer's Dad? Killed Sawyer's mom when he discovered she'd been seduced and swindled by another man/Killed himself.
Locke's Dad? Con artist/Attempted to kill Locke/Killed by Sawyer thanks to manipulation from Locke, himself.
Ben's Dad? Drunk/Abusive/Gassed to death by Ben, himself.
Sayid's Dad? Forced his kids to kill chickens, which actually constitutes the most functional father-child relationship I can think of, though Sayid wound up torturing people for a living so you gotta wonder...

YOUR FEDERAL RETURN
(-$1,491)

ABILITY TO TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE
($1,000 – $1,600,000) a pop

TIME BONDING WITH YOUR DEAD FATHER IN THE PAST
(Priceless)

After all of this I'm left with one question... what would Miles and Hurley's spinoff be called?