S6E3 - The Substitute

As you know, I try to keep my recap themes fresh from week to week and season to season, with one exception.

So, it is with great enthusiasm and sadness (enthusiadness?) that I present the last ever set of...


***LOST VALENTINES***


From: Randy Nations
Card: Cartoon teddy bear in a business suit wearing a very unconvincing toupee.
Outside: “I’ve just got one thing to say to you this Valentines Day.”
Inside: “You’re FIRED!” [on the bottom is a logo for The Apprentice – Tropical Island Edition.]
To: John Locke

So we discover that Locke was in fact lying about going on the walkabout, so that has not changed in the alternate timeline. But it looks like at least one major thing did… Helen! More on that later.

From: Fake Locke
Card: Just a folded up piece of notebook paper.
Outside: “Sorry I killed your boyfriend, but you could do SO much better.”
Inside: “Want to go out sometime? Check box: YES or NO.”
To: Richard

So, Fake Locke (as I will call him in this episode) tries to convince Richard to come with him, perhaps even join forces. Richard asks why he chose to look like Locke and Fake Locke says it gave him access to Jacob since Locke was a candidate. Richard doesn’t seem to know what that means. Fake Locke feigns surprise and tells him that if they were “together” he would have treated him with respect. At any rate, his attempt to kindle a bromance falls on its face when Richard refuses to come along. If you recall, in one of the final episodes from last season, Ilana and her team knocked out Frank the pilot and she was overheard wondering if Frank was a candidate. Of course we didn’t know what that meant at the time, and only have a vague idea now. My question, though, is how does Ilana know about that whole business, while Richard doesn’t? After all, they both “work” for Jacob. Anyway, seems like Richard doesn’t know as much about what’s going on as I thought he did. Good gravy, does ANYONE?

From: Ilana
Card: White card with colorful flowers.
Outside: “What we had was special.”
Inside: “I’ll miss you.” [Handwritten beneath – “Couldn’t afford an urn… hope you don’t mind a drawstring bag! XOXO”]
To: Jacob

Okay, so a sad Valentines card, there. I thought her decision to save the ashes was interesting only because ashes seem to have some significance. It’s what everyone uses to keep the smoke monster at bay. I’m sure we’ll see that resurface. Anyway, for the time being looks like Ilana, Ben, Sun, and Frank are off to the Temple.

From: Fake Locke
Card: A picture of two half-gone wine glasses and a mess of discarded clothes.
Outside: “I’ve got all the answers, baby.”
Inside: “Now put on your pants and come with me.”
To: James Ford

Sawyer’s reaction to dead Locke was pretty humorous. You can tell he’s really close to hitting rock bottom. Unfortunately that puts him in a prime place to be manipulated. Richard pops out of the woods just long enough to warn Sawyer about Fake Locke, but Sawyer wants answers. Don’t we all…

From: Hugo Reyes, CEO
Card: Cartoon teddy bear working in a cubicle.
Outside: “Office romances are never a good idea.”
Inside: [Teddy bear sadly packing up personal effects.] “Good thing you don’t work for my company anymore.”
To: John Locke

So, Hurley hooks Locke up with the number to his temp agency. I heart Hurley. And it turns out that the supervisor of that company is someone else I heart.

From: Rose
Card: A hand-painted watercolor scene depicting the beach at sunset.
Outside: “A Valentines Day Haiku”
Inside: “I see your wheelchair. / I’ve got terminal cancer. / That’s called, perspective.”
To: John Locke

Rose rocks. You just gotta love her no nonsense view on life.

From: Ghost Boy
Card: Picture of jungle with no one there, but you can spin a little wheel on the outside edge to reveal a creepy little boy.
Outside: “Just popping in to wish you a Happy Valentines Day!”
Inside: [Handwritten inside] “P.S. You can’t kill him.”
To: Fake Locke

Well THAT was weird. Was that Jacob, perhaps? I also wonder if it was significant that Richard couldn’t see the boy, but Sawyer could. I’m assuming the boy meant that Fake Locke couldn’t kill Sawyer. It actually doesn’t seem like he wants to, though, especially after his efforts to save his life on the ladder. Of course who knows what it will require for Fake Locke and Sawyer to “leave” together so he made need him alive at least for now. That whole business is unsettling. Also, Fake Locke suggests that he once was a man until he became “trapped” on the island. All interesting history that we’ll surely learn more about as the season plows on.

From: Benjamin Linus
Card: Picture of a gravestone with a bouquet of roses nearby.
Outside: “You were a believer, a man of faith. And a much better man than I will ever be.”
Inside: “Sorry I murdered you.”
To: John Locke

Awkward… well, as far as eulogies go. It was, however, one of those rare moments that I think Ben was actually telling the truth.

From: Helen
Card: Pink construction paper with red and white cutout hearts.
Outside: “All this time, I wasn’t waiting on a miracle.”
Inside: “I was waiting on you.”
To: John Locke

Well, that was a sweet sentiment. But this brings up what I had mentioned earlier; Helen is with Locke in this timeline. I believe in the reality we know, she ditched him quite some time ago after it was evident he was overly-obsessed with his father. In the alternate reality, she is not only still around, she went so far as to suggest they should just invite her parents and his dad to attend their wedding. Locke didn’t even seem to flinch at the idea, making me think his relationship with good ol’ pops is WAY different in this reality. Don’t see how bombing the island could fix THAT mess, but maybe we’ll see. And while we’re on it, there’s one bigger discrepancy that I really can’t explain…

From: Benjamin Linus
Card: Red apple with green cartoon worm popping out of a hole.
Outside: “An apple for teacher on Valentines Day?”
Inside: [Worm crawling up the side of a white teacup.] “Or how about just a cup of Earl Gray?”
To: John Locke

Okay, so I’m a little confused on how Ben can be alive and well in the alternate timeline. As far as we know, Ben never escaped from the island during the Dharma evacuation. We have seen clips from his life after he was healed at the temple and it seems he split his time between running with the others and pretending to still side with the Dharma folks. So, to me that means that he had to be on the island when the bomb went off and as we know, in the alternate timeline, the island is at the bottom of the ocean. Am I wrong here? Shouldn’t alternate-Ben be dead? Of course who knows, maybe the bomb detonation didn’t sink the island right away. Maybe it just caused a giganto hole that slowly filled with water from the bottom up like some cartoon catastrophe, giving the inhabitants time to escape. I don’t know, seems like a stretch. Hopefully the writers didn’t miss such a big plot hole. On the upside, it is cool to see Ben’s what-if life.

From: Jacob
Card: 50 generic cards depicting various Disney characters, bought in bulk at Costco.
Outside: “You’re the only one for me.”
Inside: “Whoever you might be.”
To: Everybody

Looks like Jacob is willing to give a Valentines to whoever will take one, not to mention his post as guardian of the island as well. Apparently one aspect of Jacob’s incessant list-making is to find his “replacement.” (Sidebar, is there some official mental condition ascribed to people hung up on making lists or is it just lumped under obsessive compulsive disorder?) Anyway, there were a lot of potential folks to begin with, but apparently only six remaining candidates. Oh, scratch that. Five. Sorry, Locke. One interesting thing is either Jin or Sun isn’t on the list. Nor is Kate or Claire. Also, the numbers make a surprising appearance, but I wonder how much of that is for us to say, “Ooooh, the numbers…” as opposed to them having an actual meaning.

Fake Locke suggests that everything Jacob has ever done has been in order to draw people (these “candidates”) to the island. Seeing that series of interactions again edited back-to-back like that did kind of suggest an eerie sense of manipulation. I want to say that Fake Locke is the “bad guy,” but wouldn’t put it past the show to have some crazy twist where Jacob is the evil one in the end.

So, any ideas of what’s going on? This episode seemed to lend itself to plenty o’ theory swapping.

4 - Locke
8 - Reyes
15 - Ford
16 - Jarrah
23 - Shephard
42 - Kwon